dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize