Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
