is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I smell stomach acid.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize