Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
