I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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