i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
