i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
