i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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