Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
