I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
