He kissed a someone with a penis
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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