you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
