PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Someone signed my nipple.
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