But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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