You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
