i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
