I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
