best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
