Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
