plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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