Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
there's paper in my vomit.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
pray to the hookup gods
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
