summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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