she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
