I am in a vortex of obligation.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I party with great urgency now.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
