i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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