READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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