I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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