what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
