The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
