I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
