I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
