New low: just hacked my moms facebook
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
