Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize