I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
