Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize
