I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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