Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
