You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Every concussion has its silver lining
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
