i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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