But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
