No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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