I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
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