i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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