it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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