i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
