Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
