Well apparently he's into motor boating.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize