can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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