Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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