Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize