Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
