dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
