woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
