apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
