plz talk dirty to me
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize