the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize