Tell her she can't have a vagina
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
