he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
