She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
