Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
