Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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