Please, let me fuck your mom
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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