Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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