Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
