You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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