we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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