Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
