What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
