well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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