I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
