so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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