i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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