So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize