let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
