Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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