I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize