Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
