she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
